The bird and the boy

The boy sat in his study, and strangely enough, his window was open. Autumn had come quickly, but this was not the expected weather that autumn normally brings. The rain and muggy air stifled any of the crispness surrounding the fall days. That's why it is strange that the boy had his window open. Not exactly the kind of weather that breeds creativity.
Insignificantly, a bird perched on his window sill. Seeking shelter from the rain, no doubt. The boy dropped his head and continued scibbling doodles on his piece of boring paper. The bird hopped a little closer to the lad, trying to be discreet so as not to startle him and cause him to run away. The boy, thinking he noticed a movement out of his periphrial, looked up. But, there the bird sat staring intently into the drops of water. The eyes drop back to his ever-scribbling hand and the bird, seeing its opportunity comes a little closer. This continues, until the bird is practically perched on the dull boy's arm. It seems the rain and muggy air had stifled the boy's observing powers as well.
The bird could hardly contain its excitement. Here it is, sitting on the shoulder of an actual wild boy. These are dangerous creatures, known for killing two birds with one stone. Overcoming its excitement, it tweeted something into the boy's ear.
The boy arose. The bird flew out the window. The boy walked downstairs and sat down at the dinner table.
"How did you know it was time to eat?" Mum asks.
"A little bird told me," says the dull boy.

Roasted Duck: Recollecting Solemn Happenings Over a Quaint Meal of Duck

It’s 0900 hours. I am sitting in my mother’s dining room eating a roasted duck.
Last night I saw a party of midgets running across the street towards the lake that sits in the middle of our small town. I can remember them laughing like little children and throwing balloons filled with tomato juice at each other. Come to think of it, they might have been children. I don’t really remember. It could have just been their shadows I saw.
I’m diving into this duck now with a fervor that would have filled Paul Newman with so much glee, he would have come out with a new Fun Duck Salad Dressing.
There was a tiny man on the streets last night who also watched the group of midget children running. He was a strange looking man. He carried a lunch pail and a pair of long green socks. His hair was as red as the tomato sauce in the balloons and came down on his shoulders. He kept looking at me, jumping from one leg to the other and mumbling something that sounded like “Give me some flap jacks, kid, or I’ll eatcha!"
Crumbling Christmas trees! This duck is good.

Behold, He stands

He stands at the door. He knocks. If I open it, well, I'm eating dinner. He will come in and eat with me. He will see all I am. He will know me fully. That’s why no one eats dinner with anyone. If I open the door, though, I will know Him. If I invite Him into my place with all its waste and smell...well, He came here. He said I would know Him fully. His, all He has is mine if I just answer his knock and let Him in to eat with me. Then I will get to eat with Him. The trade is so much better for me.

My house is old and filled with pictures, framed memories of the lives of people I have hurt. The pictures on my walls are cracked reflecting all my relationships I've had in the past. All my masks and different costumes that I wear outside are tossed in the corner. When I eat, it’s just me. No dressing up. No masks. Me. But He is here. He wants to know me, and not just know me but know me fully. I don’t really know what He means. It scares me. I am not sure what it will look like, but He keeps knocking. He is knocking still. So persistant, but not pressing. I don’t feel rushed to answer it. He just called my name. I heard Him. The door opens by my hand. It’s time. I want to know Him.

As we sit down, I wonder: He came all the way to my home. He stood there and knocked for, I don’t know how long. He called out for me. I wouldn't do that for another person. People walking along the street, eyeing me as I am knocking and yelling for a strange person. How far did He have to come I wonder? If He came here for me, how far would He go for me? How far has He already gone?

He knows me. He sees it all. I think he knew before He came what I would be like...just another one. I'm wrong. He wants me to come with Him. There is a place in his Father's house waiting for me. It's time for me to know Him. He's going to show me how far He has come; we are going to walk back together. I can’t go in my clothes though. He says I need new clothes. He reaches into his bag and pulls out white clothes. He reaches to pull of my tattered shirt. I try to tell Him that it won’t come off; that I've worn this since I can remember; that I thought it was clean and fresh at one time, but then it started to smell terribly, and it turned a nasty color; that each time I tried to wash it, it would get worse; that I could never take it off which is why I sold all I had and even myself for costumes and masks. He insists on taking it off. It's impossible though. He doesn't seem worried about my opinions. No one ever was. His persistence has carried over from the knocking. It didn’t stop at the door, obviously. He wasn’t put off by the stench in the house or by me. He wasn’t shocked by my pictures. He is relentless.

He rips off one sleeve with such power I thought my arm had fallen off and my body had gone through my sand floor. The pain and rawness was almost unbearable. After I opened my eyes, His arm is the first thing I see and it is dark red with blood. My arm is off and there's all my blood, I think. But my arm is still there, but it is fresh and clean. Cleaner than when I was first born. But how-- He rips my other arm. Squinting through the pain, I see the same result. My arm is brand new, even newer than new. His other arm is now covered in blood, but I don’t think its mine anymore. He is bleeding, where I should be. He rips my chest and it tears down but gets stuck on my heart. It was like sticking a shovel into the ground and hitting a rock. Oh, the immense pain that came with each tug. He grabbed my shirt-skin with both hands on either side of my heart and pulled two sharp times. I couldn’t take it. The very core of me was being gutted and wrenched from me. My eyes gaze pleadingly into His, but I see that there is pain in His eyes deeper than mine. I realize that with each pull and tear, He has felt it more than me. He is taking most of the pain. There is an endurance in His eyes and I know that love endures all things. And with one final pull and twist He wrenches out my heart. I tried to scream. I wanted to scream. But the cry came from His lips and from the very depths of His eternal being. I knew my cry would have been shallow and insufficient for the pain. My eyes glance at His chest and it is soaked in blood. It should be mine. It’s too dark and rich, carrying such life in it. He continues to tear and rip off my old, worn clothes. Each tear reveals new born skin leaving a fragrance that is crisp my nose and lungs, stinging as I breathe in.

Then He takes all the rags and skin and with His bleeding hands, he puts it on Himself. He Himself carried my sorrows. I am weak. He holds out His hand and there's my heart. But it is alive and powerfully beating. It’s larger than before and almost jumping out of His hands as He places it in me. He looks at me and tells me it is done. The rags are gone and His clothes are stained with blood. He places the white clothes on me that I had seen before. As we walk out of the house, I don’t look back. I know Him in part. He is Jesus. His clothes are red with blood and mine are white and clean. As we talk, I suddenly fall, but He picks me up. Frantically, I check the clothes to see if they are stained. They are not. I know that if I should fall hundreds of times, they will always stay white because they are His. But I don’t wish to fall anymore. I want to talk with Him. I want to know Him. We are walking together and He will show me how far He has come. I have seen a little and know in part, but one day, I will know Him as He knows me: fully.

--
This is eternal life, to know the true God, and the one whom You sent, Jesus Christ.

Change.

It starts with yourself.

We have a plague of planks in our eyes and all we can focus on are the specks in your neighbor's eye. Things are not black and white. They are light and dark. If we want to see a revolution, it won't start in the government. It won't start with the authorities. It will start in our own lives. The thoughts that we think have to be revolted. Everyone is so quick to grab on to a cause, to feel like they are doing something with purpose that does something good for another person. I begin to wonder if it sounds like a clanging cymbal to His ears. Could the answers we are looking for really be found in a Man?

When time ceases, He still increases

Let this slip back into your mind, the thoughts of memories and the vapored times. Vapored times that are streams of smoke, dancing off of the pulses of light that shine through the different eye-glassed windows. If you reach out your fingers to catch one stream, it vanishes suddenly as when you awake from a dream. When something so fleeting is so constant, it is easily overlooked or feared. If the day is only lived for the events of that day, then the vanities in that day will be filled to the brim. Too often people tilt this glass of momentary vanity, drinking and eating for tomorrow they could die. There is an aspect of time that is often ignored. It is not the past or the present or the future. It is the aspect when the vapors that rise, symbolizing time, shall cease to rise at all and all the vapors that had risen before, all the streams from every era, culminate and gather in this moment. It had been a constant crescendo. All thought that the vapors were fleeting, but they were just seating themselves before the One. So each day must be lived, each to its fullest and the day that is fullest lived is the one that is lived with a eye on the eternal moment when time ceases completely and people stop trying and rest in the be-ing. 

Faith is a good fight.

We are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith to the preserving of the soul.
Whatever is born of God overcomes the world, and this is the victory that has overcome the world-- our faith.

Let us walk and live in a manner worthy of the calling we have received. We are born of the Spirit. Born of God. Born from above. He has overcome the world. Greater is he who is in me than he who is in the world. We are born of God. Sons of God and He is our elder brother. Through faith in Him, we will overcome and receive what he has for us when he returns.

In Quietness and Rest is Your Strength

We are prone to think, for example, that converse with Christian brethren, and the general round of Christian activity, especially when we are much busied with preaching the Word and visits to inquiring or needy souls, make up for the loss of aloneness with God in the secret place. We hurry to a public service with but a few minutes of private prayer, allowing precious time to be absorbed in social pleasures, restrained from withdrawing from others by a false delicacy, when to excuse ourselves for needful communion with God and his word would have been perhaps the best witness possible to those whose company was holding us unduly! How often we rush from one public engagement to another without any proper interval for renewing our strength in waiting on the Lord, as though God cared more for the quantity than the quality of our service!

Stewards and Oak Trees

Truth is a Person. Jesus said, "I am the Truth." He has sent to us the Spirit of Truth, His Spirit. God has poured out his love into our hearts through the Spirit. Drink continually by meditating on Truth's Words and let His love burn into your heart and become the foundation of your thoughts. We have to be stewards of what the Almighty God gives us. Stewardship. He who has will be given more. To whom much is given, much is required. Be faithful in little and you will be given much. You will reap what you sow. God will not be mocked. God is not mocked.
Diligence, stewardship, faithfulness and discipline; all of them bound by enduring love.
Daniel the Prophet was given many gifts: wisdom, knowledge, and good-looks. He excelled in the king's court because he developed these gifts. He found favor with men because he developed his relationship with God and found favor with God. He was not after success, though, nor status in the the kingdom of man. He wanted to please the leader of the Eternal Realm who gave him much and therefore, required much. At the end of his life, God told him to enter His rest and receive his allotment. Paul would call it his reward or prize.
Jesus talked of talents. Don't hide them in the ground, but develop them, make them grow. We have to ability, because we are made in the image of God, to create to a certain extent. It does not happen without the hand of God, but we have to plant, water and nurture these gift-seeds he has given us. So that when this world ends, the gifts and talents we have developed will exponentially grow in eternity. We are made to rule and steward, to create the environment for things to grow and be able to live in. Adam was given that command in regards to the earth kingdom, Jesus gave that command regarding to Eternal Kingdom.
I want to hear from Father, "Enter into your rest and receive your reward." This life prepares us for The Life. God chooses to work through us and with us, here; why would He change when this world is over? The relationship with Him that we are developing and walking in will only grow when time is ended. I dont see why it would stop. He is the same yesterday, today and forever.
He has called us to be eternally with Him and He has given "stuff" to steward. We need to do it to our very best. Every deed and word will be brought to the light and judged; we want to be diligent and not found lacking. He has plans for us, let us reach the full potential of those plans. Our vision is "Oaks of Righteousness" and as long as we stay planted by the stream and keep drinking, we will grow there.

Conspiracy

There is a conspiracy,
but it is not one of foreign governments and underground leaders. It is a conspiracy for
you to find Truth. You will only find Him if you are looking for Him. You cant stumble
across Truth because things you stumble across, you just pick up and put into your
pocket. But when you are looking for something and you find it, well, it is jolting.
Partly because you thought you would never find it, but also because when you continue to
walk, you are not really looking anymore.

I dont mean to be abstract, because what I am talking about is very practical. It
is reality. It could be likened to looking at the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel just
finished, with Michelangelo, its creator, standing right next to you. Maybe that is still
too far off and hard to relate with. It is being in the mountains and seeing the raw
majesty of them, and then feeling or coming to the realization, that its creator is next
to you. I think it is still too abstract. what I am talking about are little revelations
that you and I know didnt come from either of our minds. Realizing for the first time,
"Whoa, THAT is real love, thats not what I thought it was at all." You know it, because
it was dropped into your thoughts, and when it hit the ground, well, it is that jolt. You
might not have known you were looking for truth, but you are. And you know you are,
because instead of just shrugging off that little revelation, you kept it and walked away
different.

You were made to be loved. Shakespeare wrote and wrote about this. Story tellers
from all cultures have made stories about this hunger and passion to be loved and to
love. It is hard to have the right view on it though, right? Because they all say
something similiar and yet it is different. And we all have our different opinions about
the subject. That is why we need that dropped truth-nugget to anchor down our sheet-like
thoughts that flutter and flap in the winds of fads. You know when it hits because it is
like the plop of a rock into the water. It just settles. It settles into every aspect of your life. You know that time when you had to get
that paper done, or there was a ton of stuff you had to do in little to no time? Its
strange, but instead of your mind flapping in that anxious state, it will be settled and
held down by Him, Truth. He is the Person who created and formed you with a plan for you
because He loves you. Any area where you feel anxious all the time or afraid, all of
those little insecurities that you hide from people, or try to, when He steps
in--everything changes. Or when You say things to fit in and do things so that people
wont know you are afraid. Any area like that, from the small to the big, it will be gone
for good. Because when you are loved perfectly, there is no fear. You have had tastes of
that kind of love in relationships you have been in. Those were moments of "truth", where
you caught a glimpse of Him, you just didnt know it. During those moments, you had that
security of the other person's love and you werent afraid of anything. The only fear that
could come into that is the fear of losing that love from the other individual. The
presence of that fear just means you werent being perfectly loved, if you were, the fear
of losing the love would have dissolved.

It doesnt make sense to be calm when everyone
around is panicking, I know. But when you know Truth, He is the perfect love. Deep calls
to deep and when He drops a little revelation, or glimpse of Himself into the deep waters
of your soul, then everything around you is settled. Everything.
If you arent there yet, than just wait. If you are one who wants Truth, He will
find you. Its a conspiracy. I just know Him a little bit. When you find the nugget
though, you will know Him yourself, no one will have to tell you about Him anymore.

The sound of the Deep

I am looking down the side of my boat. Water is crashing against the side of it. I
am safe from the swelling sea, but I am not sure I will be in the next few
moments. Something deep inside of me seems to be resonating with the very soul of
the ocean, making me feel it would be safer outside of the boat in the raging
waters. But that would be madness.
The boat is rocking violently back and forth. I can understand now why it is
described as being tossed. I look out over the sea into the storm. This is a bad
storm and it seems like it will only get worse. Again I feel that escaping the boat
into the ocean is the thing to do.
I make myself stand on the firm ground of the boat and peer out into the madness.
Someone is walking towards me. Ha, now I know it is madness. Leaving the boat for
the water, its like leaving a nest during a hurricane. I am not going to do it. I've decided.
But there it--he--is again. Walking. I can barely stand because of the wind and
waves but he walks. It is as if he is from the depths of the water, where it is
cool and dark and quiet.
The boat gives a sudden jolt and nearly tips over. I am knocked down to my knees.
Something, I am not sure what, slams me in the back of the head. Its not as safe as
I thought in this boat. Safer than out there, but not as safe as I thought.
As I am pulling myself up I am hit with the same feeling that the deep soul of the
ocean is calling me. The terrible power shown on the surface of the water seems to
shrink when this deepness calls. Its strange but more comforting than the boat.
My eyes try to find the mysterious man. It isnt hard because he is still walking
straight towards me. He is with in calling distance, so I yell.
Wasnt much of a yell. He just looks at me.
I see his eyes are flashes, like flashes of fire that the water cannot quench. He
is walking and the waves cant rush over him.
Safety is no longer a concern. Now I am begging for the ocean to call to me again
so that I can join the man on the water. The wind and the storm had become the
backdrop and he is larger than life itself. Everything in me, the very depths of
me, wait for the deep to call.
"Get out and join me" When he opens his mouth, his voice thunders like thousands of
waterfalls, the foundations miles under the water seem to shake. the winds roar and
whip at my face and lightnings hit the water around the boat, but I am calm. I walk
to the side of the boat and look down the side of it. Water is crashing against the
side of it. My leg swings over. Now my other leg. I am sitting on the side of the
boat now.
His eyes flash and it burns my eyes. The fire seems to rush down my body consuming
the insides of me. My heart is burning a hole in my chest and the water can't
quench it. I drop down onto the water. Solid. Water is crashing around me, but I am
standing, it cant rush over me. I look and He beckons me to follow. He points into
the horizon.
There is a boat.

Let there be light.

The earth was formless and void. Darkness was over the earth covering it completely. Then the Maker spoke. He gave light permission to flood the darkness. Let it shine. As He pulls back the curtain for light, the darkness is vanquished.

Arise and shine for your light has come.

Darkness is over the earth; deep darkness covers the earth. The Maker spoke and this time, His Word became flesh. His dominion come. He pulls back the curtain for his Light to shine over physical and spiritual darkness. His Spirit fills people. His people now say, "Let there be light" and the darkness is vanquished around them.

The last act is drawing to a close and the final scene is soon to be played out. Let us set our hope completely on the grace to be given us at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Even though we have not seen Him, we love him. Even though we do not see Him, we trust Him. That is why we are filled with a joy inside of us that can not be explained. Our faith is producing the salvation we believe in.

Prepare your minds for action. Be sober in spirit, be drunk in the Spirit and Let there be light wherever you walk.

Community

"God is about to bring something fresh and new that requires your absolute love and dependence on the people around you. It is not an option. Community. You walk in stewardship. God has given me stuff and the stuff is for the kingdom. The stuff is to honor the king and to be enjoyed by my family, but I get to use everything. It doesnt master me, I master it. And I get to use it. Either to bless my family or to honor the body of christ and the king. I am a steward. But I walk in the fear of God realizing that when I am alone and nobody is watching, He is with me. And I must show myself and man of integrity in those moments."
--Bill Johnson

This is it. Time is winding down and Jesus is preparing His people to be ready when He comes. As a bride anticipates the coming of the wedding day and feast, and the seeing of the bridegroom, so we, HIS people anticipate the Day that is approaching. We need one another. Deep is calling to deep and the thundering is saying, "I am doing something new. That is what you feel, and it requires your absolute love and dependence on ME and my people."

Drawing closer to God pulls you into reality, and pulling away from God distances you from reality, because He formed the heavens and the earth.

More on self-sacrifice

"While he [Jesus] lived on earth, anticipating death, Jesus cried out in pain and wept in sorrow as he offered up priestly prayers to God. Because he honored God, God answered him. Though he was God's Son, he learned trusting-obedience by what he suffered, just as we do."
Heb 5:7

"Anyone who claims to be intimate with God ought to live the same kind of life Jesus lived."
I John 2:6

"...he [Jesus] humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross."
Phil 2:8


These scriptures, plus a few more, are transforming my thinking. They are taking what I used to think and not totally getting rid of it, but moving it aside.

"live the same kind of life Jesus lived"
That life looks like a man who looks not only to his own interests, but more importantly others. It is serving. It is hearing and obeying. Knowing that we are lower than angels, saved by the works and hand of God and living a not-my-will-but-yours life. Sounds like self-sacrifice? It isn't. It is hearing and obeying. That might include self-sacrifice, but it is not the core.

Jesus knew where He came from. He knew where He was going. He knew His Father had put all things in His hands. His identity was firmly in place. That enabled him to be humble. He humbled Himself knowing that the Father works all things for good. He suffered in order to be taught "trusting-obedience", the Son of God did that. Why? Because we are taught trusting-obedience through suffering. Why? So that we can be sons of God. That is our identity. We are born from heaven now. We are heavenly people; our home is heaven. Through Jesus our God-who-can-identifies-with-us, we are joint heirs.

God the Father is calling us to Himself. This does require taking up the cross. The cross can mean self-sacrifice, but it means "hearing and obeying" inclusively.

So, when you find yourself flagging in your faith, go over the story of Jesus' suffering and death and resurrection, item by item, the long litany of hostility he endured. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls and cause you to soar with faith. So, endure the cross for the joy set before you.


And if you want to know God intimately...live as Jesus lived.

My Heart

Well...
Here it is and that's where it stays,
A hard stone heart, cold as it lays
in the middle of His palm it desires to beat again
but the life in the blood appears to be at its end.

The cry of the heart is weak and its cracked
For it hasn't been washed and the layers are stacked,
Layers of times of Pride and of Doubt
Where the heart heard the voice but never turned around.

And as its still and life almost gone,
The hard stone heart looks at what its done.
Trying to cry but no tears will flow
It strains to hear the rooster crow.

A chance to see where its gone wrong
Or to turn and believe, its chances might be gone.
From dried cracked lips, the heart begins to sing
Gratitude and thanks for the little life that still beats.

He wants the hand that holds him, to break Him apart
For maybe in pieces, he'll be a better heart.
He's heard of healing hands that puts hearts together again
"What's going on?" he moans, and confusion sets in.

A piercing crow splits his side
And tears begin to flow as he lays there and cries
He sees what he's done, and thats all he sees
He hates what he was, and from it to be free

The hand brings the heart close to His face;
The poor broken heart can not bear his pain.
He falls apart, blood softening the hard.
Surrendering, he is washed.

Here it is and that's where it stays,
Pieces of the heart in hands blood-stained.
The hands enclose over it, sealing the heart
It will be used to revive others who, once cold and hard, have broken apart.

November 2006

HOLY

There stands in a moment of time, in split second of a finger twitch, decisions that foreshadow eternity. Even though it is impossible to foreshadow something that is. The best way for people to understand things is through analogies and parallels to what they know. We need something to measure, whatever we are trying to understand, against. Some sort of standard in our mind that will bring us closer to the revelation we seek. That is why stories with morals, and parables with an underlying meaning, and metaphors and similes are so vital to the human.
We can not understand start to understand love until we say, "It is like the way of a lioness with her cubs." Or "It is the way of a man with a maiden." The only problem is, in trying to understand it through this standard, we confine it. Love is not only protection and providing nor is it only romantic. The truest thing we can say is, "It is." We have neither created love nor can we destroy it. We find ourselves caught up in it and acting out of it, but we have no comprehension of what it truly is. All there is to say is, if you try to describe it through a line, this end is love and this end is hate, then it is above the line, around the line, where it can not be pin pointed. If you try to put boundaries around it, as you would fence in a dog, then it is not even on the ground but in the air, and who can place boundaries on air?
It is not a balance you have to attain and maintain. It is set apart from it. It is not something that you can say, "Here it is!" or "There it is!" It is among you, within you.
Full of mystery and completely open and vulnerable, dwell together without complaint, naturally. A sovereign ruler who gives his subjects freedom to choose is no paradox, only the way it is. Absolute and abstract compliment each other, while 'servant', 'friend', 'child', 'sheep', and 'priest' describe the relationship with the Creator.
It is like this because He is like this. He is a person while being like the wind. He is outside of the limitations of time while inside of them. Creating everything from math to animals to chemistry to logic. He is external from everything he created. Yet He is involved in every little process of it. Holy. He is Holy. He is good and he has no nemesis.
Evil is trivial. He hates it because it tries to exalt itself against the knowledge of Him. Evil has blanketed the eyes of people, veiling them from His true character and nature. Everything he created is yearning and longing for the day when He will redeem it. It yearns and groans for that day like a woman in labor, crying out for Him. The only part of His creation that was not crying out for Him were the people, the very ones whom He created in His image, in His very likeness.
Jesus. The Son. He became our evil. He became judged and condemned for our pride, our wickedness. He took the fear out of death by becoming our sin, and he took the power away from the sin by removing the law, the moral standard. Now, whoever believes in Him is under God saying that we are not born of the world anymore, we are holy as he is. We are born of God.
He has taken us and given us what we don't deserve. Grace. He tells us to walk in it, that He has placed Himself inside of us. He wants us to be witnesses of His glory and nature. He wants us to know Him as a Father, a Friend, a King, a Shepard, the God. Not saying "This is what it is!" or "That is what it is!" but in a relationship. He will invade this place and the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord. Be filled with his Spirit. Bless you as you walk in His anointing.

Is the core of the Christian life self-sacrifice?
Dying to your own desires and serving and living for God and others?
No and Yes.

The very center of Christianity is Christ. He is the center and everything encompassing it. He is the core. In Him is all the supremacy. The world was made by Him. For Him. Through Him. Jesus, the Son of God, calls us to Himself. He is the mirror of God's Glory, representing the Father God exactly. The very image of God. He holds the universe together by the power of His word. He became incarnated. The Word made flesh. God becoming human. Fully human and fully God. He endured the cross for the joy set before Him. If we say we are Christians, we should walk as Jesus did. He is our model.

He calls us to Himself. It is His voice that we are practicing to hear. The voice that speaks the words that sustains the universe. He calls us to life...abundant. He gives us joy and sets it before us and it is for this that we endure the cross, the suffering of everyday life that we face.


I will write more on that question. Right now I would say self-sacrifice is not the core of Christianity. If it were, the monks of old who secluded themselves from society and beat themselves in order to be holy were the purest Christians for the denied from their self many pleasures. No, it has to be something more.

The 9th Symphony of the String

There is this string in the middle of a field. I saw it one day hanging down from the sky, connected to nothing, it had no end. I left it alone for maybe I thought the sky would fall and the world I lived in would be done. I came back to this string on the day after yesterday, and it seemed to speak an unheard mystery. There it hung, to nothing it clung, and so my curiosity got the best of me as my hand sought the story of the unsung.

There are no pictures to show what I saw. My hand reached out grabbing the string and my mind connected to everything, it all poured in. I left the ground and started to soar my clothes they fell and and a world is born. I wonder who else has come to this string and experienced this mystery and if it was the same. It might be a dream, thats what it would seem, but an ordinary dream is just like steam for you see it and then it rapidly flees.

There is this string in the middle of a field. I saw it one day hanging down from the sky, connected to nothing, it had no end. I can not say, for one reason or another, exactly what happens in the midst of it all, but until you reach out to take this string your soul will dream, and life will be an unheard mystery. So there it stays, even til this day, waiting for a soul to take a hold and live the unsung story for which they were made.

Not there yet

"According to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death."


"Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me."

One thing that I have not understood, and now only barely understand, is why Paul always said that he had not yet attained it. Faith takes the hope and we walk as though we are there, as if we have attained it. But if we think we are already pure and in heaven we would be living in a false reality. We are still on earth. We live earnestly expecting what is to come. He desired and expected that he would not be ashamed in anything. Nothing. But on the contrary, with boldness that Christ would be made manifest through him, his life, whether he lived or died. Paul's deepest desire was Christ and heaven. He clung to these. He set his heart, everything he did, on winning Christ and being found in Him. He knew that his home was heaven.
He did not strive for righteousness, for Christ is our righteousness. He strove to know Christ. To know his righteousness. This does not remove us from reality, it only enables us to live in it with a sense of eternity. Our lives manifesting Christ, because He is all and is in all.

We don't even know

There stands in a moment of time, in split second of a finger twitch, decisions that foreshadow eternity. Even though it is impossible to foreshadow something that is. The best way for people to understand things is through analogies and parallels to what they know. We need something to measure, whatever we are trying to understand, against. Some sort of standard in our mind that will bring us closer to the revelation we seek. That is why stories with morals, and parables with an underlying meaning, and metaphors and similes are so vital to the human.
We can not understand start to understand love until we say, "It is like the way of a lioness with her cubs." Or "It is the way of a man with a maiden." The only problem is, in trying to understand it through this standard, we confine it. Love is not only protection and providing nor is it only romantic. The truest thing we can say is, "It is." We have neither created love nor can we destroy it. We find ourselves caught up in it and acting out of it, but we have no comprehension of what it truly is. All there is to say is, if you try to describe it through a line, this end is love and this end is hate, then it is above the line, around the line, where it can not be pin pointed. If you try to put boundaries around it, as you would fence in a dog, then it is not even on the ground but in the air, and who can place boundaries on air?
It is not a balance you have to attain and maintain. It is set apart from it. It is not something that you can say, "Here it is!" or "There it is!" It is among you, within you.
Full of mystery and completely open and vulnerable, dwell together without complaint, naturally. A sovereign ruler who gives his subjects freedom to choose is no paradox, only the way it is. Absolute and abstract compliment each other, while 'servant', 'friend', 'child', 'sheep', and 'priest' describe the relationship with the Creator.
It is like this because He is like this. He is a person while being like the wind. He is outside of the limitations of time while inside of them. Creating everything from math to animals to chemistry to logic. He is external from everything he created. Yet He is involved in every little process of it. Holy. He is Holy. He is good and he has no nemesis.
Evil is trivial. He hates it because it tries to exalt itself against the knowledge of Him. Evil has blanketed the eyes of people, veiling them from His true character and nature. Everything he created is yearning and longing for the day when He will redeem it. It yearns and groans for that day like a woman in labor, crying out for Him. The only part of His creation that was not crying out for Him were the people, the very ones whom He created in His image, in His very likeness.
Jesus. The Son. He became our evil. He became judged and condemned for our pride, our wickedness. He took the fear out of death by becoming our sin, and he took the power away from the sin by removing the law, the moral standard. Now, whoever believes in Him is under God saying that we are not born of the world anymore, we are holy as he is. We are born of God.
He has taken us and given us what we don't deserve. Grace. He tells us to walk in it, that He has placed Himself inside of us. He wants us to be witnesses of His glory and nature. He wants us to know Him as a Father, a Friend, a King, a Shepard, the God. Not saying "This is what it is!" or "That is what it is!" but in a relationship. He will invade this place and the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord. Be filled with his Spirit. Bless you as you walk in His anointing.

A Beginning II

It was not that they were just living a new fad or a vapor of an idea, no, it was definitely more. A revolution of non-conformity and of life. A revolution to step out of the darkness of oppression and into the light of freedom. What they had seen, what they had been given, no one could take it away. They experienced freedom first hand, and after it is tasted there is no going back to the chains. Enduring beatings and being on the verge of death, yet not retaliating in the manner one would expect. They did not fight back with violence or even peace marches. They tore down the strongholds of the mind, tearing away from their enemies grasp precious lives. They watched as fathers turned on their sons, and sons turned on their fathers because of this freedom. It caused pain beyond belief to them, but when someone is in the dark, the light hurts their eyes, and if they are unable to get past this initial pain, then they get angry at the light instead of waiting to see what it reveals. The leaders had seen themselves get caught up in this movement of freedom that had been a river rushing long before they came along. They were placed there to bring more into that river. And they did. They watched as community grew and in the midst of a person forced from his family because of the contrast of dark and light, that person, once in the brilliance, found a new family. A family bound by the love of freedom and therefore, almost unbreakable. And so, there they were; united and moving as in one fluid motion, unconcious of their differences, aware only of their similarity: they were free.

Soon more and more came into this freedom, this nation, that is absent of any government here, because the ruling authority has to be the one that feeds the river, the one that is the source of the light for that only makes sense. As more came into this nation, the fighting and beatings became scarce but problems within the people grew. Divisions within themselves. Some wanted to rule themselves, or they would make up stories just trying to get people away from freedom in order to have their own following. The aspect of unity and working and moving as one begin to slip leak and drain leaving dry tempers and wrong ideas. Such a shot of urgency and fear for the people that must have gone through the leaders. The people who had just stepped into this freedom of light, this nation of God, were already going off on their own separate paths, taking up anything that suited their sudden impulses, not living as though they were in freedom, but in chains again. It was not something that the leaders had put together or concocted, it was set in motion before they were even alive. Somehow, they had been appointed to tap into it and see it rush out over people, this water of freedom. They had to nip the ingnorance and apathy in the bud before people gave their freedom away. They cared and loved this people far too much to let them stand separate and weak rather than together and full of life.

So they wrote. They wrote to each community reminding them of what they first believed. Reminding them that the freedom they had stepped into was not cheap, but was worth every part of them working together. They started from the beginning and went down the steps of time showing the validity and the truth, and uncovering the deceptions and lies. They wrote to show that the lives they were living were not in vain, but were storing up rewards where people can not steal it. That the more they went out the more the source of light drove away darkness and the more people stepped into freedom. Then the people remembered, and they were reminded of their mission, of their purpose. And they stopped trying to clamor out of the river and run from the light, and all of them jumped in and stood not hiding anything. The let the water rush over them and the light search them. They allowed freedom to permeate their being and bring them into a family, because the bond of a family is stronger than the bond of one hundred steel ties.